


Death Wish (Teldryn Sero/Former Nord Patron)

by Nudebeme



Series: Chac and Teldryn [15]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 01:10:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1669166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nudebeme/pseuds/Nudebeme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the last chance he’d ever get to say them, and Teldryn knows these words left unspoken will haunt him until his dying day. A brief drabble about Teldryn and his former Nord patron. extreme angst ahead</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Wish (Teldryn Sero/Former Nord Patron)

“ _There’s no way in Oblivion we’re going in there! An encampment like this would need 10 men to clear!”_ Teldryn’s voice was harsh as he reached out and grabbed the fur-armored shoulder of his patron. They where exhausted after three days of tracking, chasing down a single bandit because it’s what the damn Nord wanted. ‘Find the source and wipe them out’ he would say..but the camp they where led to looked more like a walled off village

“Isn’t it thrilling?” His boss asked, turned towards the Dunmer with a look he’ll never forget. He had the most menacing grin Teldryn had never seen, and the spark of panic flared in his heart.

“Are you mad?! This isn’t worth it, let’s just turn around! Forget it!” He could feel the dread rising in his heart when the Nord drew his sword, and inside that literal town of thieves, he saw glory. A Nord man’s worth is measured at the time of his death, and there was certainly a good death waiting in there.

  
“There’s great glory to be had here, Teldryn. You can’t keep me from it.” There was something in his pale blue eyes as the Dunmer reached out to grab his shoulders, shaking him insistently. He could get through to him, only if he tried hard enough!

“Listen to me, running in there is a death sentence. I’m not ready to  _die,_ man! Just think for a second!”

They couldn’t keep living like this. Being so close yet unable to ever seal the bond, too stricken by the need to save face, the elf and his patron could never _be_. The Nord had thought it through, and as he was being shaken by his best friend, hearing him plea, he knew what he was going to do.

“Then stay. Tell the world my story.” The Nord was suddenly being pulled in, Teldryn reaching out for his sword in a desperate attempt to get him to stop- no, this can’t be happening!

“You can’t do this!” The Dunmer’s clenched fist soon was set ablaze with magic, if it took knocking him out then he’s willing to do it. The aging blonde was alive with the thrill of death, and he took his companion’s wrist into his hand, leading the shocked Dunmer up against a tree.

Looking at him now, panic in his red eyes, the Nord realizes he needed to do something; something he’d been too proud to do alive but will face fearlessly in death. He reaches in and kisses the elf he’d grown to love, hungrily, in a way Teldryn has never felt before. The Nord wraps his arms around him and holds the elf for the first and last time, like he’d dreamed of doing. In that very moment the Nord finds freedom, and Teldryn finds a cage.

Teldryn pulls away in shock, his mouth gaping open. To be shown something he’d grown to desire at such a bleak hour made the elf realize that he really was in love. He took the moment to notice the grays streaking his blonde beard, the crinkles in his eyes as he smiled. Teldryn needed him so badly, and he never accepted it up until this moment. There was a world out there to explore together, it couldn’t end like this.

“I’m begging you…Don’t go.”

“Remember me, Teldryn.”

But what about me? He should have asked, the shell shocked elf was at a loss for words, what about that kiss that proved the love they shared? Doesn’t that make him want to live? Teldryn reached out as the muse of his life turned with his sword drawn, and ran with everything he was towards the camp. He could have said it. Stay, I love you. But he didn’t.

He didn’t follow. Time seemed to come to a crawl as the Dunmer watched from afar as his patron runs out of sight for the last time. From the other side of the wall he could hear the sounds of war lighting up the night.. moments went by, and Teldryn stumbled back to support himself on a tree when at last the sounds of clashing steel came to a deafening silence.

Was this it? The end? Was it really all worth it? The Dunmer stood in absolute silence in the woods, every part of him obsessed with the idea that he just might come back out. But no.. he was gone, and it all happened too fast for Teldryn to accept. In a stupor, the elf turns and stumbles his way through the thick of the forest, his mind in a thick haze and not a thought passing by.

His mind went absolutely blank, and he saw little despite ducking and weaving through branches as his body continued of it’s own accord.

It happened, he finally died. Teldryn knew it would happen, he prayed and suffered all these months knowing his patron would one day go too far and leave him alone. Alone, just when his heart needed him most.

Teldryn staggered like a drunk for miles, eyes locked before him and his legs so tired they could hardly keep him standing. It was pointless wandering, and soon enough the static in his brain faded out loud enough to remind him of the pain he was in. Teldryn collapses to his knees, falling hard onto his hands and bruising his palms on the road.

He didn’t know where he was going, he really had nowhere… He wanted to get out of Skyrim as fast as possible. He never wants to see another Nord again, and he’ll be damned if he stayed in this wretched country any longer.

He had nowhere to go. Nowhere he wanted to be, unless someone came and buried him 6 feet under. Teldryn stares at the ground blankly, and needing to think. He can’t keep wandering like this, he needed a…a destination. A lump started in Teldryn’s throat and he sits up on his knees, staring out onto the road ahead.

Windhelm. Jump on the first boat out of Skyrim and away from any shred of him left in his heart. Fuck him. Fuck everything on Nirn. Teldryn’s insides brimmed with rage, threatening to come out in a blaze of madness. He needed to get back to Morrowind, something familiar.. the comfort of home.

Teldryn pulled himself up to stand, and heaved a great sigh. It took more energy than he had to spare, each step felt leaded down. He walks at a zombie’s pace Eastward, the still of the night so haunting in his bleary eyes. Hundreds of days flashed before Teldryn’s eyes, the ones shared in the companionship with that bastard. Memories rushed past his eyes for hours on end as he shuffled his way to Windhelm, in an absolute trance.

Coming to Windhelm’s gates, the elf suddenly finds himself. Eyes snapping to attention, he realizes that he has almost no memory of the walk here. “Mephala, save me.” Teldryn prays to himself.. he doesn’t know how much longer he can go on. Windhelm was a bitter place and he had no love for it, but _he_  always did..how he would hear about it. Even now as he walked the frozen streets, echoes of his voice resounded in his head..blips of conversations and expressions he tried to snuff out as quick as possible.

Digging into his pocket, he began a futile attempt to count his coin for the boat fare. He would get 10 coins in before his mind would drift elsewhere, and soon enough his head was practically throbbing with pain. It was growing harder and harder to hold himself together, feeling as though his body is coming apart at the seams. It was an incredible distance to walk, and Teldryn was about to collapse before he could even reach the loading boat.

He was lucky enough to come across a Dunmer dockworker, who looked briefly intimidated by Sero’s bedraggled state. “Crikey, what happened to you?” He asked, and Teldryn glared at him. The thought passed his mind of killing him for some sort of relief; but he simply offered the elf a satchel full of gold coins.

“Just get me on your boat, I don’t care where it’s going.”

The elf weighed the coin in his hands, and found it substantial. He grinned, and took the deal without question.

“We’re off by tonight, bound to Raven Rock. It’s a wretched place, mind you.”

  
“Not as wretched as this miserable city. I’m going to be on the boat, thank you and good day.” Teldryn had no interest in meeting the crew, no last minute dealings to do. Teldryn invited himself down to the ship’s hold, stinking of fish and salt..he didn’t care. He found the cleanest corner he could possibly find, pulling himself up to sit atop a massive crate. It was dirty and dreary, a perfect fit for his wounded heart.

It would be good to go home. Up until this very day he was living in a world that was so new, constantly growing and deepening against his will. To have it all suddenly taken away from him just when his greatest desire was met was a blow he didn’t feel until now. Now that he was alone, in a dark, miserable corner.

The pain of acceptance was becoming thick like stone in his bones, and Teldryn resorted to curling his knees up to his chin, squeezing his eyes shut to concentrate..breathe. He focused on nothing but his breath in a desperate attempt to contain the blaring truth, to think of anything but what he’s lost.

It didn’t work. Whatever piece inside of him that broke seeing his patron run into that encampment now felt like it was going to burst. The rocking of the boat and the gods awful stink made Teldryn want to heave his guts, and only moments went by before his reflexes gave in. The Dunmer turned his head and began to retch but there was nothing in his stomach. He felt starved of everything and he’d rather be dead than to continue feeling this way.

The rocking of the boat only worsened when it was time that they shoved off. Teldryn could feel the bitter cold of the water through the hull of the boat, and he held on for whatever was left of his life onto that crate. Minutes ticked by where Teldryn was too sickened to even think, he lay curled on his side atop the crate, a spitting and retching mess. Part of him was thankful though, the pain was a distraction.

But like all things in his life, the distraction was fleeting. His body fought the sickness despite his will to just fall unconscious and never awaken. The willfully suppressed memories of his voice came back so strongly it positively stunned him with pain. The cold, morbid feeling that something you’ve held so dearly is now gone forever… Teldryn remembers the words he could have said to him, the ones that may have made him stay. Stay on Nirn with him, and take it on by storm together. The Dunmer’s heart just wasn’t ready for it, and watching as the Nord ran away from him that final time, he knew it never would be.

Teldryn’s severe red glare pierced into the hull of the ship, all at once feeling a tremendous desire well up inside him like never before. Hastily he reached for his helmet, throwing his head back and fitting it over his face- he needed to hide now more than ever. He felt safer behind the mask, and it was there that he decided to give up.

“ _I hate you, so much_.” He moans, Dunmeri words muffled to the world. Nearly a year’s worth of hot tears streamed from his eyes, hidden behind the emotionless mask of his armor. He suffered to breathe, his every bone shaking in duress. He felt absolutely lost, somewhere below life and beyond help. Teldryn was absolutely mortified by the foolish Nord’s goodbye; how he showed him everything they  _could_  have been before taking off in a blaze of fucking glory. Sure, you fetcher, revel in your glory while I bear unimaginable suffering.

His body wracked with sobs he did his best to suppress- a deck worker went down into the hold, and Teldryn was gripped with anxiety as he approached.

“Alright down here, mate?”

Teldryn could hardly lift his hand, and despite his urge to cry out for help, he merely waves off the elf. Silent. The other merely took that as an alright and was soon on his way, unaware of the Dunmer’s need for help. Alone once again, Teldryn is reminded that he never could deal with being by himself..not this way. He was left with nothing but himself and his foolish tears deep into the night. 


End file.
